Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Iraq, Another Glorious Victory for Democracy

Guest Post by conservative columnist Clint Barkinmad of the Daily Times-Dispatch

FOLKSTOWN, USA: Yessir, the values we hold so dear in this special heartland in the U. S. of A. are a spreadin' worldwide! Countries I can barely pronounce, like Rwanda and some o' them Russky states are all votin' up a storm. I hear lately about votin' in Iran too, so folks round here ain't cottonin' to that ole Cindy She-man story sayin' that her boy done died for nothin. Not if you call votin in Iran and Iraq nothin by George! Thats a goodn!

So now the latest news that we're a sposed to be unhappy about cordin' to some liberal talkin heads. Some Iraqi doctor lady that called our President "my Liberator" is now turnin her back on Iraq and skedaddlin on outa there. Well zipiti-do-dah! What's her lil ole problem?

"This is the future of the new Iraqi government - it will be in the hands of the clerics"

Well my oh my. Guess she hasn't been applyin for no buildin permit round here recently, them clerics down at the commission really are a pain in the patootie but you don't see us runnin off ta Canada do ya? (hehe) Look, I'm no saint, but if we gotta deal with them church fellers runnin the country over here, then it ain't gonna be much different over there ya gotta figure. I got no problem with that. Been a christian all mah life, tell you whut. An if you ain't a christian, well then son, lemme clue you in. Better get with the program.

Now don't get all upset and get me wrong on this here issue. Our under God government ain't out to hurt you if you ain't a christian, but on the other hand, you don't build your house where the new roads goin if you see what I mean. Pat Robertson called for the assassination of some ole President down south of the border there just for even thinkin a crossin us, so I'd advise all you disagreeable types to start agreein mighty quick.

Well, gotta run. That dang ole rooster got himself in a twist again out there in the field.

(Clint Barkinmad 57, is a long haul trucker on permanent disability who lives just outside Folkstown where he looks after his mom, her chickens and runs a "Draft Hillary--for Iraq" club which meets at Red's Billiards just outside of town on Rt 46. A portion of his Social Security income goes to the Club for Growth to support efforts to shut down Social Security. He is a fervent christian who believes prostitution should be legal "Mary Magdalene was a whore and she was holy", enjoys taunting people who read books or magazines at the diner. His favorite show is Foxnews and his favorite movie is "Butt Fuck Sluts Go Nuts #46").


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