Sunday, July 31, 2005

The Five Families

The mass media has been consolidated into just a few hands. You've heard it before, but until you actually see it, you wont really appreciate it.

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Thursday, July 28, 2005

OMG, Democrats have found someone smart!

How to beat the Republicans. Hey, it could happen! Now we just need someone who isn't a total dork and try to adopt some lame-ass we're concerned about morals too! and like, bad TV and rap and video games n' stuff dickhead like Joe Lieberman. Hey, Joe! STFU! You too Hillary "Grand Theft Auto is destroying our youth" Clinton.

Dammit, Hillary. That was your "hey supermarkets have like product scanner thingies in 'em." moment. You can't affort to keep handing out free bullets to the opposition. I have not doubt that Karl Rove actually pleasures himself at the thought of being able to do his magic on you.

Here's a question, how come the only Democrat that has any testicular weight at all is Nancy Pelosi?

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Democrats, be the only party for Privacy

We cannot let the terrorists win, so instead, do we let the Republicans terrorize us?

No one is allowed to take photographs of public buildings from a public space.

Why must we free to do not do things? Because the USA is a free country! And in a free country we cannot have people just doing whatever they please! There are limits! Particularly when we're scared of things! Like 62 year old ladies!

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Democrats, you can add: The Party of Dignity

In bemoaning the state of our culture and trying to tell us all to be good Christians we should ask our president one question:

"What kind of one-finger salute would Jesus give?"

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Democrats, be the only party for the Rule of Law

Here's another talking point:
Democrats will be the party of law since the Republicans have abandoned that concept.

If our fellow Americans don't feel bad about the torturing of our enemies, can we at least be honest about this? The people being tortured are "suspected" enemies which do not have enough evidence against them to warrant an arrest under any law of this country. Torturing suspects without evidence, just suspicion is kind of shaky isn't it? Is this America?

Is it a liberal concept that some suspicious looking or acting Arab foreigner shouldn't be detained indefinitely without due process? That actually sounds like a conservative, by-the-book approach.

Is it conservative to spend half a trillion dollars and thousands of American lives (so far) trying to "make nice" and rebuild Arab countries? That actually sounds pretty liberal.

Maybe Democrats are the conservative party after all.

Oh yes, and we won't lie in your face about delegating the war to the military, when we're really orchestrating very unusual legal back doors to undermine our soldiers abilities in the field. Honest to God, can anyone not see that Iraqis can't see our soldiers as the face of freedom and liberty when their job is also to deliver people to the torture chambers? That's the foe, not the friend!

From the NY Times:

Senior military lawyers lodged vigorous and detailed dissents in early 2003 as an administration legal task force concluded that President Bush had authority as commander in chief to order harsh interrogations of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, newly disclosed documents show.

Despite the military lawyers' warnings, the task force concluded that military interrogators and their commanders would be immune from prosecution for torture under federal and international law because of the special character of the fight against terrorism.

In memorandums written by several senior uniformed lawyers in each of the military services as the legal review was under way, they had urged a sharply different view and also warned that the position eventually adopted by the task force could endanger American service members.

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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Democrats, your talking points are here;

Yes, you need a new message, so try something new instead of lame GOP castoffs:

Since Republicans have abandoned fiscal conservatism, we will be that party and balance the budget--we've led on that issue before.

Since Republicans have abandoned the idea of small government in favor of very large, very centralized, very expensive and very intrusive government, we will be the party of government restraint. At our worst, we've never been this bad anyway.

Since Republicans have abandoned the free market in favor of selective industry and company subsidies (based on who contributes what) we will become the party of free markets and deregulation. Really, if Republicans wanted to do anything here, they've had 5 years of running the place and could do it. Nothing, zip, nada. We can't do any worse!

Democrats support faith based ideas, just not in war planning, budgeting and nation building.

Since Republicans have abandoned integrity, in war and in Presidential guarantees ('the leaker will be fired'), we will be that party. Again, at our worst, we were never this bad.

We will not be the party of pre-emptive war on meticulously constructed intelligence hoaxes--ever.

We will not be bleeding heart conservative nation builders. If we ever attempt help, we will not finance another country's socialist healthcare system.

We will not the party of knowingly providing false White House press passes to gay male prostitutes under false names.

America, we know why you don't like Democrats: We tax and spend, thus balancing the budget and not raising interest rates. Republicans borrow and spend and we get the thankless job of trying to clean up after their fiscal orgies. Everybody wants to go to the party, nobody wants to stay and clean up.

Let us come clean--since many of us travel, we get exposed to crazy new ideas. Like the idea of hot chocolate and coffee together is quite delicious. However, some snob named it a grande mocha latte and that's where all the trouble all started. It sounds all "look at us, we're a bunch of callous sophisticates, we're better than you." But honestly, all this fancy lingo is just so they can charge you more money for coffee with milk in it. We're still normal people. And Volvo is owned by Ford, so driving a Volvo is not anti-American. They own Jaguar and Aston Martin too.

We will keep Social Security and Medicare afloat as well as possible with the broken treasury we have been left by the Republicans. And we will take a page from their playbook and just rename these programs to something that sounds better, like Fiscal Security and Super MediFund. Honestly, we do think it's dishonest to continually adopt new euphamisms for things, but if we don't, we'll be the only ones that don't. Do you really want that?

And finally we'd like to offer an olive branch to George W. Bush. In his striving to rebuild Arab countries as Socialist States and help the poor and middle class with government money, to restructure the Social Security system with additional trillions of dollars. This man truly knows how to be a liberal. So we now leave liberalism to the Republicans because they have so demonstrated that it doesn't work.

God Bless You My Fellow Americans. And that means everyone's God and All Americans, not just the ones that consider themselves more religious and more patriotic than everyone else. Although we still welome Evangilicals and if you really want to insist you're better and more special, well, you're special to us.

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